so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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