Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
