Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
