Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
