Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
