Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
