he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize