You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Im part way to drunk.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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