so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
