I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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