as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
