she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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