Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
i out mim tonsoeep
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