How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
