just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
