We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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