Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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