Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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