It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
