Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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