How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
