I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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