Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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