so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
