do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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