would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize