found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize