Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
we have pet lesbian snakes
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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