recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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