im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
