I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize