Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Randomize
