I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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