As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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