He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize