around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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