my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
