Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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