Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
my shit smells like andre
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
The feeling are messing with the penis
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
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