Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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