Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
