Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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