She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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