don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
