Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
