She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
