your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
