The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
