i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Randomize
