i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
