wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
