...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Randomize
