He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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