Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
