I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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