just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
