so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
