I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I want her autograph on my taint
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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