Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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