No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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